


Marbled ants

by SeaPockle



Category: South Park
Genre: And is kinda a dumbass, Aroace Craig Tucker, Craig has no self awareness, Craig's really bad at math, Fluff and Humor, Just general Wholesomeness, M/M, Resting bitch face Craig tucker, Study Buddies, Tutoring, bi Kenny McCormick, idiots to lovers, imagine two kindergartens holding hands an saying they’re dating, thats what Kenny and Craig’s relationship is like, they both are
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-16
Updated: 2020-08-16
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:27:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25873597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SeaPockle/pseuds/SeaPockle
Summary: Craig sighed “Since when does math have letters in it” Craig said as he threw his head back And waved his arms in the air.Kenny tried his hardest to hold in his laughter. Ok maybe Craig wasn’t as much of a brooding edge lord as Kenny first assumed.“Since, like forever Craig” he says back. Kenny swore he could feel himself loosing brain cells whenever Craig asked a stupid question like that.ok maybe Craig wasn’t as irritable as Kenny first thought but now he was starting to wonder if Craig was born a stoic airhead.
Relationships: Kenny McCormick/Craig Tucker
Comments: 1
Kudos: 15





	1. Somethin’ stupid

**Author's Note:**

> I had the idea of Craig being really bad at math and just went with it

Kenny always had the general idea that Craig was some kind of edgy ‘no one understands me’ kind of kid so Kenny didn’t know what had gotten into him that day when he saw that Craig’s usual blank stare was gone and he looked kinda frustrated. It might’ve been his big brother instincts that made him do it but when he saw Craig he felt compelled to ask: “the strong and powerful me has arrived! you look sad. What’s up?” Kenny expected Craig to flip him off or look at him with a blank stare. What he didn’t expect was for Craig to let out a breathy sigh and say:

  
  


“Sometimes I just feel really dumb y’know. Like I try my hardest to study, but in the end my grades aren’t what I want them to be” Craig tossed this head back then sighed again before continuing.

  
  


“I feel like one of those dumb bombshell blonds from the eighties movies Ken. No offense” Kenny hadn’t been expecting such a lengthy explanation from him. Kenny hadn’t really talked with Craig in a while so he kinda assumed he had grown into one of those brooding silent types but apparently not.

“Umm.. well I’m kinda good at math and stuff like that? Maybe we could study together?” Kenny’s not entirely sure why he said that. Maybe it was because he was so used to comforting Karen that he just jumped on the opportunity to solve someone’s problems but whatever it was he knew he would have to tutor Craig. Which is why he wasn’t the least bit surprised when Craig showed up unannounced at his house on a Wednesday afternoon.

“Hey, Kenny, your study partners here!” Karen shouted from the living room.

The universe must’ve hated him. That was the only reasonable explanation that Craig would be standing at his door. Kenny hadn’t had time to change so he was clad only in his stained boxers and white socks. He hadn’t even gotten the chance to touch up his hair or wash his face.

“At least cover up your schlong you dingus”

Craig said as Kenny walked back into his room to change

“Oh zip it pretty boy” it was kinda embarrassing that Kenny had shown up like that in front of someone as pleasing to the eyes as Craig Tucker. he has those pretty half lidded eyes that reminded him of Clara bow and pasty skin that made him look like he had never seen the sun. 

  
  


And then there was Kenny. He was cute in a pet rat kinda way. He had a huge gap between his teeth that would show itself whenever he smiled and was nothing but a bag of bones under his jacket. 

  
  


Kenny tried his best to look as presentable as possible on a budget. He was stuck thin so he didn’t have much in the muscle area but he did go into his backyard to tan. He also worked hard on the ‘i didn’t style it at all and yet my hair still looks good’ look every morning with just a brush and a comb. No hair gel or bobby-pins which in Kenny’s opinion was not something that could be done easily. But right now he didn’t have time to do any of it.

“anyway,” Kenny started, not knowing what to talk about with Craig. Kenny went over everything he could think to start the conversation but the best he could do was “does anybody really like pretzels?” Craig gave him a confused look with a little smile in his face 

“excuse me?” Craig snickered a little. Craig's face rarely leaves resting bitch face so whenever Craig smiles it’s almost uncanny. He was a willowy dude that stood a good few inches above Kenny. His eyes were glassy and unblinking, going wide at the smallest of sounds. Not as soft looking as Kenny but soft enough that Kenny wouldn’t feel intimidated by him.

“Well does anybody really like pretzels? I don’t really like the taste but once I eat one I can’t help but eat another” Kenny shifted in his seat, waiting for Craig’s response wondering if he messed up his chances of Craig ever getting along with him.

“hmm… I think I like pretzels? They're like a great savory salty snack but I see where you're coming from. They have a bad aftertaste” Craig turned to one side of the couch and pulled up his backpack obviously ready to study. It was a tiny little thing with hello kitty on it that could probably only hold a few binders before being full. Kenny had seen Craig wear it around school and every time Kenny resisted the urge to start laughing up a storm. It was hilarious seeing a guy like Craig holding something that was more fitting for a seven year old girl.

“what’s with the bag,” Kenny asked for the first time. He had always kinda wondered about it and he was sure everyone else in school did too but just didn’t think of asking. Kenny picked it up and put it on the coffee table in front of him, surprised by how heavy it actually was. He didn’t expect a person like Craig who was all skin and bones with a tiny layer of fat on top of it to be able to carry something this heavy around all day.

  
  


“I’m not sure. I just like the way it looks. It's really cute” Craig shrugged, then continued pulling out his math books and putting them on the coffee table.

“cool cool” Kenny likes that about Craig. He was unapologetically himself.

“let's get to studying I guess! Whenever I study I put music on in the backgroun’. But make sure the volume is real low so that it doesn’t distract you” just as Kenny said that Craig pulled out his phone and went to his playlist. Kenny had been expecting some sort of mix of my chemical romance and twenty one pilots but instead, Craig’s playlist was filled with a mix of eighties jams, Katy Perry and Britney Spears. 

“...Cool Britney’s singing is pretty great? Ok, now that we’ve got the tunes we need to study in a way that’ll help you memorize and understand the material” Craig pushes his math binder over to Kenny for him to review.

“Jeez man, your notes are a wreck! I’m surprised you have a D and not an F in math” Kenny said as he skimmed over Craig’s notes.

“yeah yeah whatever” one brow arching with his lip curled down Craig’s face flushed an ugly bright red that always appeared when he got frustrated.

“whenever you take notes in class you need to make sure you understand what you see on the board and that your not just writing stuff down” Kenny paused and thought of what he should say next. “let’s start off with something simple like multiplication”

“for multiplication, you’ve been using the addition method for two digit numbers but that takes up way too much space. It’s easier to use the traditional way” the universe must’ve had it out for Kenny because Craig was near impossible to teach. Kenny would tell him something then a second later Craig would forget it and the worst part was that Craig’s handwriting was so messy that even Craig couldn’t read his own handwriting sometimes. Kenny wondered how the man even got past third grade. 

“maybe we should do this another time when I’m more prepared to teach you? I’m thinking Friday afternoon” Kenny stretched his arms and legs.

“I’m free anytime so Friday’s fine” Craig packed his binders and notebooks away in his backpack then left. There was a test tomorrow. It was probably gonna be a shitshow.

The next day at lunch after everyone had taken the math test they had that day Craig walked over to Kenny’s tables much to his friends' surprise. Craig refused to talk to them since Peru. Next to his face, Craig held up a piece of paper with a happy smile playing at his lips. 

  
  


“look at this I got a sixty on the math test instead of forty,” he said with a big smile spread across his face. That’s twice in one week he’d seen Craig smile which was as rare as lightning hitting the same place twice. Sixty wasn’t all that impressive for a test grade but for Craig it was a big improvement and Kenny didn’t want to dampen his mood.

“that’s great man” on the other side of the lunch table Kenny heard snickering. Kenny let out a loud sign and prepared for Cartman's dumbassery

“that’s still a failing grade shit for brains!” It was an awfully tame insult compared to what Cartman usually dished out but Cartman was still on the floor laughing.

“shut up fatass. Anyway, I wanted to umm.. thank you for helping me” Craig’s eyes were glued to the floor examining his shoes as if they had something interesting to show him.

“Anytime Tucker,” Kenny said before Craig walked off to go back to his regular lunch table. When Craig was out of sight his friends stared at him like he had grown another head.

“sooo… what was that about?” Kyle asked, eyes wide. By then Stan and Kyle had stopped eating and had given Kenny their full attention, waiting for the juicy gossip.

“Nothing much really. I'm just helping Craig get his grades up” Kenny fiddled with the now congealed lasagna on his plate.

”that’s code for we’re banging” Cartman sneered as he chowed down on his third serving of lasagna. Kenny still hadn’t figured out how one person could eat that much food in one sitting.

“no we aren’t you fat bastard” Kenny rolled his eyes so far back they probably would’ve gotten stuck at the back of his head. Kenny continued “get your facts straight” Kenny had really gotten tired of Cartman spewing bullshit twenty four seven. Cartman has gotten more tame over the years but it was still a constant annoyance in everybody’s live’s.

“Craig’s just been having trouble keeping his grades up, that's all man,” Kenny added before going to get another bite of his lasagna. Kyle rubbed his eyes in exasperation also fed up with Cartman's nonsense. 

Kyle sighed ”why do we even hang out with you eric” The answer must’ve been locked in a chest at the bottom of the ocean somewhere because none of them had it. 

  
  


During their free period, Kenny saw Craig’s hello kitty backpack from the corner of his eye when he passed the library and it took all of his will power not to laugh. How did Craig do it? He just did what he wanted without caring what people would say about him. 

Before he knew it Kenny was walking towards the table Craig was sitting at. The place hadn’t been cleaned in a while since no one really bothered to go to the library so there was a thick layer of dust on the table along with some dust webs. On the walls, there were old posters that all had some form of ‘we love to read’ and ‘readings good for your brain’ on them.

“Whatcha readin’ there Craigy boy?” Kenny asked drawing smiley faces into the dust.

“the communist manifesto” Craig said with a serious look on his face. Kenny literally could not tell if he was joking or not before Craig gave him a devious smile.

“I’m just kidding man I’m just reading about Neil Armstrong” Craig put a bookmark in between the pages then turned to face Kenny.

“damn you’re still into space after all these years. You wanna work at NASA or some shit like that” Kenny asked jokingly. Craig thought for a moment 

“now that you mention it yeah I guess” Craig began to read his book again before he suddenly raised his head

“Oh, I almost forgot to ask before you come over tomorrow I’m gonna be taking photos of the forest you can tag along if you want” Kenny wracked his brain for anything he was doing that week to make sure his schedule was clear before saying:

“sounds fun”

When Kenny had arrived Craig was lifting up his camera snapping photos. Craig saw Kenny from the corner of his eye.

“Hey, Kenny, which one looks better to use this one or this one” Craig looked around but Kenny was nowhere to be seen.

“Kenny, where'd you go” Craig shouted and looked around again. 

Craig rolled his eyes and examined the tree to see if he could make out the silhouette of Kenny hiding somewhere “Kenny I’m not fooling around!” Craig crosses his arms and huffed. Just as he said that Kenny jumped out from behind him yelling

“BOO!” Kenny shouted from behind him causing Craig to fall into the mud. The slugs and maggots that had overpopulated in the woods crawled onto Craig’s coat much to his disgust.

“Kenny you dipshit” Craig smiled, tucking a piece of hair behind his ears. as he got up from his spot on the mud he muttered under his breath .

“Heh, I really got you. All jokes aside, lemme help you wipe that mud off” the Kenny tells Craig with a big smile on his face. He reached into his pocket to take out some tissues then started wiping the big clumps of mud that had stuck to Craig’s jacket off.

“Thanks, Ken” Craig stated before taking photos again.

“Sooo.. what are you even trying to find in the forest,” He asks, a curious look shown on his face.

Craig smiled widely, making his tiny underbite even more noticeable than before, and looked up at Kenny through black spidery lashes.

“I heard a rumor that a person drowned in a lake that’s in this forest. I’m gonna find the body and take pictures” Craig said in an ominous tone.

“Holy shit is that actually true,” Kenny asks with a look of pure disgust and shock.

Craig ran his hand through his bangs and brushed some hair that was blocking his face behind his ear.

“the look on your face was priceless and No it’s not true. I’m just here to take pictures.” Craig tells him with the slightest tinge of excitement in his voice.

Craig continued to walk, Camera griped tightly still in his hands like he was protecting a baby.

“Now help me figure out which one is better, this picture or this one,” Craig says to him, stoic face now back. Kenny looked at the two pictures of trees for a moment.

“They look the same to me but I know something you can take a picture of that will look cool”

“W-W-what are you doing!” Craig covered his eyes. Kenny had three slugs in his hands that made a sickening squelching sound when they moved around.

“Put those down Ken That’s gross!” Craig says.

Kenny pretends to eat one of the slugs while Craig tried to keep his stoic expression and fails miserably.

Craig burst out into laughter.

“Pfft Oh my gosh Kenny you are so immature! Put that down it’s gross you weirdo! Wait stay still I’m gonna take a picture” 

Craig snaps the photo then makes a hand motion for Kenny to come over and look at the picture.

“You look so stupid in this one” Craig chuckles.

“Hey! shut your trap I look gorgeous. you are blessed by my presence” Kenny says playfully 

Craig let out a little chuckle and took another photo. This time it was of a raspberry bush.

Kenny tilted his head “What got you into photography anyway? I thought you were dedicated to space” Kenny said jokingly.

Craig looked up and thought for a moment “I’m not entirely sure. I just take pictures of things I like I guess” Kenny wasn’t expecting such a sensible answer from him. They had been walking for a good couple of minutes when Craig suddenly said:

“hey Kenny you wanna try taking a couple of pictures?” Kenny’s not sure where Craig got the idea from but he still happily accepted.

Kenny examined the camera. All the little buttons and switches confused him to no end “what should I take a picture of?” Kenny had never used a camera like this.

“whatever you want. Just make sure you take care of my camera and use it right. It was expensive” Kenny still wasn’t entirely sure what to take photos of so he just started taking photos of random things like the sky and rocks. They were nothing special but Kenny had a weird sense of pride for them. Like he had accomplished something great. Craig sat down on a boulder and watched as Kenny did a lap around the trees taking pictures.

“How are these?” Kenny said as he flipped through the photos. Most of them were blurry so Craig couldn’t really tell what was in the photo.

“they’re kinda trashy but you can always learn” Damn. Kenny knew that they were terrible but he didn’t think Craig would just say it out loud like that. 

“wow harsh dude” Kenny laughed then sat down next to Craig on the boulder.

Craig shrugged his shoulders “well it’s true?” Craig went back to flipping through the photos. 

Once they had walked about a mile through the forest, they took a break for food and sleep. Craig stretched out his legs and rested back against a log. Craig reached into his pockets and took some candy out of his bag. Soon They were eating weird tasting marshmallows and beef jerky.

Craig pulled out his phone to check the time then let out a breathy sigh.

“I think it’s about time to get home now and study my mom said I had to be back by three” 

“Damn your right,” Kenny said as he looked down at the watch he had poorly drawn on his wrist

Earlier.

“Ok let’s head back”

Apparently, Craig wasn’t the brooding edge lord Kenny thought he would be.


	2. Pin Paradise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kenny learns about Craig’s collection

“Hey, mom we're back!” Craig shouted as he and Kenny walked in. Craig turned to the coat wrack and hung up his blue jacket, revealing the Hawaiian shirt underneath. Weird thing to wear in the winter. It was a pretty thing tucked into his shirt with rust colored lotuses on them with toned down green leaves embroidered in. Kenny crossed his arms and bit his lip, feeling a little self conscious about the ragged old shirt he had under his coat.

  
  


Kenny snickered, brushing of any insecurities he had. “nice house you got there” Kenny slung his arm around Craig’s shoulder playfully.

“no offense but I didn’t really wanna go to your house again. It’s kinda trashy” Craig said offhandedly as if that weren’t something that could hurt someone.

“None taken” Kenny lied straight through his teeth. The pair made their way to Craig’s room after they had greeted Tricia.

“Welcome to my humble abode” Craig’s room was exactly as Kenny had imagined. It was light blue with all kinds of stuff about space on the walls. The only part that didn’t make sense to Kenny was the pictures of Craig’s family on the walls. He wasn’t expecting that. Craig walked over to the other side of his room then placed his backpack next to him when he got back. Craig placed his notebook on the floor in front of them.

“over the weekend I’ve been trying to neaten up my notes like you said. I’m kinda proud” Craig scooted his notebook over to Kenny for him to examine. 

Not all the pages were up to Kenny’s standards but it was still a big improvement from the jumbled unreadable mess that was Craig’s old notes.

Kenny laughed to himself “shit you fixed a lot” he said, resting his head on his fist. Now that he could actually read what Craig had been writing Kenny took out his red and green pens to circle the things Craig did right and the things he did wrong.

“ya see your good at linin’ up your numbers but when you actually get to solving the problems you get your numbers jumbled” Kenny watched as Craig’s expression turned from one of confusion to embarrassment.

“don’t worry dude it’s a common mistake” the notes weren’t perfect but it was a good start to getting Craig onto the right path. After a bit more explaining Craig looked bored out of his mind.

“You wanna take a break for now Craig?” Kenny said as he closed the notebook.

“Yeah. If I go on for any longer I’m sure my brains gonna explode” Craig three his arms back and groaned.

“So what are we gonna do?”

“If I tell you you have to swear you won’t 

laugh alright” if Craig was that worried about it Kenny wouldn’t even think of laughing.

“cross my heart and hope to die” after Kenny said that Craig got up from his spot on the floor and slowly walked towards his bed. He knelt down, inhaled, then exhaled and pulled out a shoebox.

“dude why’re ya so tense? What are you gonna do, whip out a dismembered head or sumethin” Kenny was genuinely curious at that point. Craig sat back down in front of him and opened the box inside was a bunch of.. hair pins?

“what’s this about?” Kenny was fighting back his laughter, not wanting Craig to feel bad about opening up to him.

“I like to collect hairpins. I really like the way they look but I.. don’t wanna wear them in public” never in a million years would Kenny have guessed that that would be what Craig would say.

How Craig could feel self conscious about hair pins while carrying a hello kitty backpack around school and wearing a Hawaiian shirt in the winter made no sense to Kenny but he let Craig continue.

“I just wear them around the house while I’m doing chores and homework and stuff” Craig had a bright smile on his face and Kenny didn’t wanna ruin that for him so he didn’t say anything and let Craig continue. Craig dug through the box for a few seconds before pulling out a pin.

“This one's my favorite” the pin was a shiny little thing that had a sun and overlapping clouds on it. Craig picked the little thing up and clipped his bangs to the side with it. 

“shit don’t know why you wouldn’t wear those outside? You literally carry around a hello kitty backpack” Craig thought of something to say back for a moment then shrugged his shoulders Dismissively. 

“well with the backpack I just think it’s cute so when people call me a fag for wearing it’s nothing personal since it’s not something that’s really important in my life I guess? But with pins it’s different I really love them and sometimes I even make my own. If someone were to make fun of me for them I’d just hit different” well shit Kenny wasn’t expecting that that as the answer 

“now that I’ve told you about something compromising you have to tell me something” at this point Craig was smiling teeth and all. Seeing that made Kenny feel giddy.

Kenny crossed his arms and huffed playfully “hey I didn't agree to that” he said, throwing his arms up in the air like a toddler having a tantrum.

Craig chuckled “them's the rules” 

“Did I just get scammed?” Craig shrugged in response.

“hmm, sumethin’ bad.. oh, I remember! There was this one time when I went dumpster diving and found a homemay-ed sex tape” Kenny smiled fondly at the memory. That lady had big tits.

Craig playfully pinched him, smile still wide on his face “that’s not good enough” Kenny sat up against Craig’s bed and thought for a moment.

“Well, I do ’ave one thing. I always sleep with my teddy bear berry. I’ve had him for as long as I can remember and can’t get rid of him” the day Kenny stopped sleeping with berry would be the day he died and stayed dead.

“You see now that’s good dirt” after a few more minutes of Craig showing him his pins Kenny got up to go to the bathroom. When he got into the hallway he was greeted by the one and only Tricia Tucker who had a look of unmistakable displeasure on her face.

“I’ve got some questions for you dickhead” Kenny had had his fair share of overprotective big brothers and sisters but never a younger sibling. It was almost laughable how she looked with her small stature and angry look on her face. Kenny was bombarded with tons of questions that ranged from lewd and vulgar to innocent.

Kenny played along “if I had known I was gonna be interrogated by his father I would ’ave prepared”

“I’m not fooling around! I need to know you actually want to be friends with my brother and that this isn’t some sort of cruel prank” Kenny started to wonder if Tricia did this to all Craig’s friends.

“well for your information I’m helpin’ Craig out with his studies” in all honesty they weren’t doing much studying for the past hour.

“now if you will excuse me I need to pee” when he got out of the bathroom Tricia wasn’t there anymore, much to his delight. He let out a sigh of relief, glad he could go back to Craig’s room without any disturbances. When he walked in Craig was laying on his stomach putting different hairpins in on his hair. He had scattered them everywhere at the front making it look like a toddler put them in but it still looked good with the loose curls in Craig’s hair. Kenny was pretty sure Craig was the only person he knew who could put on anything and still manage to make it work. 

  
  


“I don’t know why you won’t wear those outside? They look cute” Kenny said as he sat down next to Craig. He shrugged in response.

“Tell ya what. If you go out with those pins in your hair I’ll give you an employee discount whenever you go to city wok” Kenny considered that a pretty sweet deal for a low price but apparently Craig didn’t. Even with the thick layer of indifference that was always around Craig Kenny could tell this topic was a touchy subject for Craig.

“I’ll think about it,” he lifted his head to look at Kenny for a moment. “But only if you wear them with me and take off your jacket for an entire day” Kenny held out his hand and smiled. 

“it’s a deal” Craig stared at his hand for a moment before shaking it. Even though they had mostly spent the last hour fooling around at least something good had come from not studying.

“Now remember you can’t tell anyone about this alright. Pinky swear” Kenny snickered and held out his pinky to shake with Craig’s. 

Kenny smiled “alright I think it’s about time for me to head home it’s late” Kenny packed up all his stuff then headed towards the door.

“BYE KENNY!” Craig yelled from his room.

“CYA CRAIG” Kenny shouted back.

  
  


a couple of days past without Craig wearing his pins which kinda bummed Kenny out but he didn’t pester Craig about it any further. Most of the time Kenny didn’t pay attention to the people in his class but he realized the Craig sat a few seats across from him in homeroom it kinda became his daily routine to sit on Craig’s desk and talk to him before Mrs. Butler came in. Today he was doing his usual desk sitting.

  
  


Craig glared at Kenny playfully who sat there a smirk and flicked Kenny’s thigh as hard as he could.

  
  


“get off my desk you heathen” Craig tried his best to push Kenny off but he didn’t move an inch.

Kenny shook his head and shrugged his shoulders “sorry, no can do” he crossed his arms across his chest and started swaying side to side with a big self satisfied smile on his face.

  
  


Craig scoffed and brushed a tuft of loose hair behind his ear, joy shown in his eyes “you have a thick skull, you know that right”

“Would it shock ya if I told you you weren’t the first fella t’ tell me that” 

“Is that so” Craig leaned back in his chair and paused “have you ever thought about how you’re only alive because it’s illegal for me to shoot you”

turned his head and Kenny smiled with a snort. “that among other things” Craig turned away from Kenny and began rummaging through his notebooks again.

“Ah shit, I forgot t’ tell ya yesterday! your sister cornered me in the hallway and started interrogating me like she was your father or sumthin” Kenny laughed.

“Oh yeah, she does that sometimes,” Craig said casually as if he was saying what color the walls were. Craig sighed in annoyance and brushed some wisps of hair out of his face for what felt like the millionth time to Kenny. He was starting to see why Craig needed those hair clips.

Kenny let out an exasperated laugh “damn she’s intense” if she had been a few inches taller she might’ve even been intimidating.

“Today I’m gonna be taking more photos. You can come along if you want” Kenny sighed.

“sorry I have plans with the gang today” Kenny was starting to regret making plans with them. 

  
  


Kenny’s dad had bought a really cheap Volkswagen type of car for Kenny’s birthday saying when he was old enough to drive he could use it. It wasn’t very fancy, it was the exact opposite. Its paint was chipped, with odd stains along its rear end. The trunk was loose, held together with thin red bungee cords. The hood was not left behind on the grossness of the car, with big marks on it from when some rando who keyed the car. 

“Careful not to scratch yourself. You're probably gonna get an infection from this car,” Kyle laughed.

“So what do y'all think of my new car?” Kenny asked, patting the car like it was a beloved pet. Cartman let out a low laugh then slipped into the dilapidated car with the rest of them, making sure to sit in the seat without springs and stuffing sticking out.

“It may look torn and scratched up, but he paid good, hard-earned money for this babe,” he said, patting the car. “Sure she’s got some rough edges, but you can't be picky.”

Kenny had repaired the old rundown car in his lawn by himself with only supplies that he had lying around because his parents wouldn’t buy him anything new since they didn’t think Kenny was responsible enough to drive himself to school. He told the group that someday he’d rope up enough money to pay for a better car Because ‘people with cars get all the babes’ But there was little to no chance that that car would last him longer than a year.

Kenny started up the car and Stan’s lungs filled up with the muggy gasoline clouds puffing out of the exhaust pipe. He and his friends were coughing loudly as Kenny pulled the car out of the driveway. 

It rattled loudly and shook when in movement. The brakes were poor, so when Kenny halted to a stop, Stan’s duck-and-scotch tape seat belt snapped in half and sent his hurtling towards the back of kyle’s seat. 

Kyle quickly pulled a tissue out of her pocket to mop up his blood. “Are you okay?” Stan said frantically. “Perfectly fine. It’s only a nose bleed, not a failed brain surgery,” he responded. 

“I think I can’t drive this. Like literally it’s in no shape to go in the road” Kenny says as he gets out of the car. Kenny sighed “I guess we’re gonna have to walk to KFC”

“Oh hell no I am not walking there!”

Stan rubbed his temples and groaned “we either walk there or no KFC at all Cartman” after a couple more minutes of whining from Cartman they all just decided that they’d hang out at Stan's house and play on his Xbox since his house was only a few houses away.

While Kyle and Cartman played in Stan’s room to play games Kenny and Stan ended up staying in the kitchen ordering their food.

“sooo… how’s teaching Craig going?”

“it’s goin' well. Craig’s improved a lot”

“Kenny and Craig sitting in a tree F-U-C-K-I-N-G!” Cartman shouts from upstairs.

“don’t make me come up there fatass!” Kenny shouts back before turning to face stan. 

“Cartman's such a pain,” Kenny says, making sure he could be heard from upstairs.

Cartman gasped quietly “I heard that you dicktwitch!” he shouted. Cartman was sure That when he was old enough, he was going to move to California, be discovered by a big time movie producer, star in the movie that blows up in the box office, but until then he was stuck being insulted by his friends.

“you were supposed to!” Kenny yelled back. Stan chuckled under his breath and rested his head on his fist. Kenny yawned and got up to get a snack from the fridge.

“So back to what we were talking about before” stan leaned back in his chair, smiling like no tomorrow. It was obvious that the thought of some joke came across him,

Kenny laughed “Yeah what about it?”

“Have you learned anything new about him?”

“Yeah” Stan waited for Kenny to elaborate. ”but it's not my story t’ tell so im gonna wait till ‘e’s ready to share” Kenny shrugged. He didn’t wanna ruin his friendship with Craig by telling other people his secrets.

“That's awfully nice of you” stan paused than let out a laugh as if he had remembered some hilarious joke “oh shit man you wanna hear something funny?”

“Well if it's making you laugh that hard than of course”

“Clyde used to have a crush on Craig! It was short lived but it still cracks me up to this day,” at this point, Stan was dying of laughter, and whenever someone else laughed Kenny couldn’t help but laugh too.

“Shit dude that is pretty fuckin’ hillarious” if Kenny had to choose between Cartman, Kyle, or Stan to hang out with he’d choose stan every time.

“since they’re up there playing on the Xbox you wanna head to seven eleven or something for some more snacks” Kenny nodded furiously. He rarely went to seven eleven but when he did it was always awesome.

Seven eleven was like heaven. It had air conditioning, snacks, and slushies and everything else you could possibly want. 

“you can go pick out as many snacks you’d like” urged Stan.

“Thanks man!” Kenny shouts excitedly before he ran down to the slushie area.

“What should I get? Maybe I should get the cherry… no, maybe fruit punch” Kenny said to himself, looking at the variety of slushies.

“I think the Fruit punchs are the way to go.” A voice says from behind Kenny.

Kenny turns around and out of all the people it could have been of course it had to be Craig Tucker.

“Oh hey Craig,” Kenny greets.

“I think you should get the fruit punch” Craig says again.

“Oh thanks,” he says to Craig before getting a big gulp and filling it with his drink of choice.

“Bye,” Craig turned away and went to the cash register then left. Once Kenny was done he walked back over to Stan who was choosing which beef jerky he would get.

Kenny smiled “you ready to leave?” He asks, leaning up against the shelf.

“yeah but first I need to choose which one of these I’ll get” Kenny didn’t understand Stans strange obsession with which beef jerky was perfect for him but he let the man do his thing

“why don’t you just get both?” Stan shrugged and grabbed both of them off their hangers.

“ok now I’m ready to leave”

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Craig in theory: I get into fights a lot darkness consumes my soul
> 
> Craig in practice: how do you spell five


End file.
